As we creep inexorably towardsthe gradual, painstakingly slow reopening of the country, it’s quite fascinating to see how certain businesses can reopen yet maintain the social-distancing/wash your hands protocol we’ve become so used to.
A certain airline has come up with a bit of a winner, in that if you’re prepared to shell out an additional $40 or so, Frontier will guarantee nobody sits in the middle seat.
Well that’s all very fine and dandy, but let’s say you’re Passenger A in the aisle seat and fork over the readies to the airline. In comes Passenger C in the window seat, clambering over your lap to get to his seat, and he hasn’t had to pay a nickel for the extra room, but yet gets to enjoy his spacious surroundings.
I would certainly hope A and C don’t get into a little conversation on the flight, because if it comes out that A is affording such creature comforts to C, free of charge and gratis-like, I can see there being a distinct possibility of at least the odd terse word, and at worst a little bit of chair fisticuffs ensuing.
Casinos in Vegas have been told by the Nevada Gaming Commission that they might be able to reopen provided that they ensure an amount no greater than 50% of their allowed occupancy is in the place at any one time. Added to this, there are to be no more than three players at a blackjack table, six at the craps table and four playing roulette or poker. Slots can only be played if the patrons are 6 feet apart.
The casinos have to come up with elaborate plans demonstrating how they’re going to achieve the non-congregation of players in the sports books, keno lounges, bingo halls and other gaming areas. I’m sure the restaurants have to have some way of keeping their diners at three-arms-length from one another too.
Not only all of that, the casino management has to come up with complicated schedules to ensure that everything is “regularly cleaned and disinfected. Chairs, rails, dice, cards, you name it – they’ve all got to go through effective autoclaving to get the thumbs up from the Commission.
I’ve seen slot players get extremely pinch-nostrilled if anyone disturbs their mesmerized feeding of a machine and therefore their cadence, so I would think that Fred coming to have a bit of a regular Clorox spray around would not be greeted cordially. “I’m on a roll! Rack off, hairy legs,” I can hear the cry.
What a nightmare! I don’t know about you, but when we go to a casino we go in part to have fun and ignore the rest of the world. I can’t imagine the hoards flocking to their favorite venue will be over-the- moon about having to line up at 6-foot intervals out in the blazing Vegas sun waiting for their turn to go in and do their dough.
An old Chinese curse, according to the internet, is this:
“May you always live in interesting times.” Thanks, but a little less interesting would be kind of nice right now.
Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.