No lying allowed inside

It is a real dilemma we are faced with, holding a big outdoorsman’s get together and swap meet at the Mt. Olive church I go to out here in the country just north of Bolivar, Mo.  You figure there will be a large number of grizzled old outdoor veterans like me sitting around talking about fishing and hunting, and you just can’t allow any lying inside the church!  So I guess we may have to set up a little area OUTSIDE the big church auditorium for that.  Hopefully, that will comfort the preacher some.
It is a big auditorium connected to the church, built years ago so that country kids could gather and play volleyball or basketball.  I thought it was big enough for indoor trap-shooting with light loads, but it wasn’t.  So that’s why we have to replace some lights, and since I felt responsible, I came up with the idea of a fish fry on Labor Day Saturday, September the fifth.  Folks can come and eat a fish dinner for six bucks each, and we’ll use the money to fix the auditorium lights, maybe have enough left over to buy a couple of those fancy wooden toilet seats they have at Wal-Mart.
But then I got to thinking how much fun it would be to use that whole day as a get-together for those of you who read this column, and we came up with the idea of the swap meet.  We will open up at 8 in the morning and let folks bring items of interest to outdoorsmen and country folks to sell or swap, all day long.   We have 30 free tables available in the auditorium, and so far 24 of them have been spoken for. 
Here are some of the things we have coming, and I think you will agree there will be something for everyone.  First of all, individuals who have contacted me say they will bring modern day fishing lures, rods and reels, tackle boxes and fishing paraphernalia of all sorts.  Then there will antique fishing lures, reels, etc.  and antique books, art, coins and stamps.  Some professionals will be coming from Kansas to give free appraisals to anyone who wants to bring anything of that sort. They will identify the brand and year it was made, and tell you about what it is worth.
There will also be modern and antique hunting gear, hunting knives, some old guns and muzzle-loaders, some present-day shotguns and rifles which should be good bargains.  We have one fellow bringing his squirrel skinning invention, and another bringing treestands for deer hunters. There will be duck decoys and goose decoys and a fellow who makes beautiful wooden duck calls with a variety of those, a turkey call maker with handmade wooden turkey calls for sale.  We will have some brand new camouflaged hunting caps, both winter and summer styles, for less than 5 dollars each, and Jim Barr, from Texas county, who makes hand-carved wooden lures will have lures modeled after the old Lucky 13, Tadpoly and River-Runt. 
Dave Trantham, a lure maker from Springfield will be there with his entire line of lures, spinner baits and buzz-baits. On that day, he will sell all his lures for 15 percent off.  You can see those on his website, www.visionlures.com. In addition, some folks are bringing some new fishing rods they make which they say are unique.
Two ladies from Mansfield are bringing old time outdoor books and antler lamps and an old number 14 skillet, and different antiques which will interest a lot of folks. They have some railroad paintings from the 1960’s and some old wildlife art.  Some beautiful artwork and tapestries and woodcarvings, and outdoor type jewelry for ladies will be there, from the old Iconium country store I wrote about several weeks past. Some of the prettiest artwork I have ever seen comes from that little country store at Iconium, and we will have as much as they can bring.  I am hoping to have artwork on display from other artists as well.
Don Jones, the local guy who converts any truck or auto over to hydrogen fuel, simply by hooking up a water and baking soda system, will be there to demonstrate that, and show you how you can hook up the system on your vehicle.
Out in the parking lot, there will be several boats for sale at bargain prices... a War-eagle fishing and hunting boat, a 19-foot Lowe aluminum canoe, a 22-foot river johnboat and others.  I expect there will be some outboard motors, some garden tillers, some mowers, tools etc, out there in the open on the parking lot and I am hoping for a lot of garden produce of all kinds.  We also are hoping for ladies to bring canned goods, jellies, pickles, relish etc, to sell inside, as several have indicated they would.  As of yet, we have no word on baked goods, but I still expect to see some there.
A cousin of mine plans to come down from Iowa the day before our swap meet, with a large amount of Iowa-grown sweet-corn roasting ears, But that is a situation where, if you want some, you should contact me and put in an order ahead of time, so we can set aside some for you.
Inside the auditorium, I will set up an exhibit of my own outdoor relics, old lures and some of my grandpa’s ancient paddles, gigs, etc.  With it will be my collection of artifacts from Ozark bluff dwellers, including that ivory pendant and carved bone I have written about.  In front of that display will be an old 20-foot wooden johnboat, and another old float-fishing relic, my uncle, 85-year old Norten Dablemont, with some of his hand-carved sassafras paddles for sale.   If you have never met him, you need to.  He is perhaps the most experienced fishing guide in the Ozarks, starting in 1934 at the age of 11, and still guiding today.  He will be signing his book, Ridge-Runner, which also details his World War II years as a 101st Airborne paratrooper.  In fact we will display the note and signature and coin, given to him from General David Petraeus, if you would like to see it. I will have my own books there too, and will give away free summer editions of my magazine, the Lightnin’ Ridge Outdoor Journal, to anyone who wants one.
We still have some tables available, and they are free, so call us to reserve one.  If you just have a few items, we have a table for that too, and we’ll sell them for you.  If you intend to join us for the fish fry, let us know if possible, how many are coming.  We have a flier on the event to send to you, with directions, at your request.  E-mail me at lightninridge@windstream.net, or call my executive secretary, Ms. Wiggins at 417 777 5227.  My mailing address is Box 22, Bolivar, Mo. 65613.   More info can be gathered on my website, www.larrydablemontoutdoors.blogspot.com.
If you are coming from a long ways off and want to spend a night in our area, Countryside Inn, Comfort Inn and Super 8 motels at Bolivar are all offering a 10 percent discount to anyone coming to the swap meet.
If you read this column and would like to meet me and complain about something I have written, this would be a good opportunity to do so.