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The Lake News Online
  • Guest column: Claiming your big table seat

  • Moving up to the adult table - is there any holiday milestone that is more significant to people partaking in Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners?
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  • Moving up to the adult table - is there any holiday milestone that is more significant to people partaking in Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners?
    But when does one have the right to demand a big person's chair a the main meal table?
    Here are some signs that you might be ready to move up from the smaller kid's table:
    • You annually are chosen to say a pre-meal prayer for the entire room, and do so enthusiastically, publicly speaking without first being spoken to.
    • Without being a parent, you are starting to help dish out food to children sitting beside you.
    • Your assistance in preparing the meal included duties beyond just stirring things.
    • It's been years since you last made a holiday toast with a sippy-cup.
    • You no longer can stand up, or even stoop slightly, when you walk under dinner table to sneak the food to the family dog.
    • Mom doesn't have to keep holding onto the dish when you pass the mashed potatoes.
    • Others at the kids' table are calling you "aunt" or "uncle," not "cousin."
    • Drinking requires the use of only one hand.
    • You have two or more political or religious views that, if discussed, could cause one of your relatives to leave the holiday gathering in a huff.
    • You brought one of the covered dishes to the dinner.
    • Last Thanksgiving, you ate a second helping of your grandmother's green-bean casserole.
    • You have gone out to the kitchen at least once to fetch something that was forgotten.
    • No one seems concerned, or warns you to be careful, when it is revealed that you accidentally got a dinner dish that is breakable.
    • You can't remember the last time you smeared any gooey food into your hair or the hair of a loved one.
    • When someone at your table spills a glass of something, you immediately get up to get paper towels, instead of just sitting there pointing and giggling.
    • At a recent holiday meal, you dominated the discussion with the explanation of some illness.
    • Cranberry sauce. You ate it.

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