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The Lake News Online
  • Guest column: The things that make us wonder the most

  • Sometimes I worry about the types of things that make me wonder.

    If you get two socks with each pair of socks, why do we only get one pair of pants? Shouldn't pants be plural?
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  • Sometimes I worry about the types of things that make me wonder.
    If you get two socks with each pair of socks, why do we only get one pair of pants? Shouldn't pants be plural?
    Because we usually look with both eyes, isn't it too singular to call it eyesight? Or should we all be going around with a patch over one eye, like pirates?
    For that matter, unless you're cleaning your choppers one at a time, why isn't a toothbrush called a teethbrush?
    And, short of making all the players hop around on one leg, is there any reason football shouldn't be called feetball?
    Should it refer to feet at all? Since most of the time the athletes are throwing and catching the ball, or holding the thing while they run with it, shouldn't the sport be called handball? Or, more accurately, handsball?
     
    NOT JUST NUMBERS
    But, I don't want to make this just an issue of names and numbers. There are so many other things in life that make a guy go "Huh?"
    If psychics are so good at knowing things, why don't more of them win lotteries?
    Why are dimes smaller than pennies and nickels? In a world that is even the least bit organized, wouldn't they be almost, but not quite, quarter size?
    Since nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon manage to stay on a pot or a pan? Shouldn't it slide off easily with the eggs?
    If you eat pasta and then antipasta, do the calories get canceled?
    When we're talking to someone who hears fine, but speaks another language, why do we say things louder?
    Since that little black box with the vital crash-solving information always seems to survive when a plane goes down, why don't they have all of us sitting in boxes made out of that stuff, instead of really dangerous seats?
     
    TOGETHER IN THOUGHT
    This is the sort of thing that crosses my mind when I've got nothing more important to ponder. They're not new thoughts or even original ones. Some of the questions have been posed by friends over the years. A few of the observations pop up on social media from time to time. People have compiled lists of such things and have exchanged them in emails or posted them for all to see on the Internet.
    We all seem to be shouting out for some insight.
    Is it considered bad bargaining if you want to put your two cents in, but accept only a penny for your thoughts? Is there a mental middleman out there making a fortune collecting the extra Lincoln heads?
    Page 2 of 2 - Why would I say I'm at a loss — specifically, for words — in answering these questions, when I've really written so many of them?
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