I propose the following stimulus package that will benefit citizens of my ilk, I call it "cash for leakers."
After hearing all of the stimulus packages, bailouts, "cash for clunkers", grants, etc., etc., and not receiving any of this "free money," I propose the following stimulus package that will benefit citizens of my ilk, I call it "cash for leakers."
As anyone of knowledge knows, Champion, Bass Cat, Ranger, Bass Tracker, Chris Craft and other boat manufacturers are "too big to fail."
I propose a program similar to "cash for clunkers" with added improvements. If you have an old fishing boat such as my 1958 Bluebird, you deserve a new Ranger, etc.
The following plan has something for everyone. New boats for us rednecks, jobs for boat manufacturing employees as well as sales, taxes, etc., and I am not forgetting the global warming/climate change advocates to stop pollution on lakes, streams, etc.
These boats will be oar powered. Yes sir, boat owners can apply for and receive grants to hire oarsmen/oarswomen (oops, I almost forgot the women) at least 10 for a 19-foot boat to get to the fishing tournament quickly (more jobs) and if Americans are too lazy to work (as some of our past and present elected officials claim) then boat owners can hire undocumented workers as per George H.W. Bush, "We can then be a kinder, gentler nation."
I am not forgetting the "tree huggers." None of the oars will be of wood. All must be of another material other than wood.
This will be more jobs for factory workers or displaced engine builders. And I am not forgetting animal rights groups and people like Obama-appointee Cass Sunstein, our new regulatory czar who believes animals should be allowed to sue people in court, "those fish must be protected."
This in turn could create jobs for struggling attorneys, court reporters, bail bondsman, law enforcement, prison guards, etc.
Another spinoff could be artificial fish of some type such as the clay pigeons used for many years in trap and skeet shooting. (More jobs).
While I am waiting for this "cash for clunkers," I will be taking applications for oarsmen/oarswomen or oarspersons. Only dedicated, experienced, with at least a Bachelor's Degree need apply.
If applying for the job, leave message, I may be in Stockholm receiving my Nobel Peace Prize.
John P. Fitts, Noel, Mo.